KFC Debuts Fried Chicken Corsage for Prom Season; Flavorful World Writer Dislocates Eyeballs From Rolling Them So Hard

Image credit: KFC.com
Image credit: KFC.com

Making headlines today is news that KFC has rolled out a $20 wrist corsage (just in time for prom season) that replaces flowers with pieces of fried chicken.

If this is legit (and I’m still not convinced it isn’t a belated April Fool’s Day prank rolled in 11 herbs and spices), then I can just about imagine how this product was conceived:

KFC Marketing Exec #1: “I’ve been thinking…if only there existed a greasy food that’s wearable on one’s wrist and guaranteed not only to smear indelible evidence of its presence into expensively-priced ballgowns and rented tuxedoes, but also to coat the fingertips of any person handling it with crumbs and grease that will leave the fingers sticky even after a paper napkin is used, and will require a copious supply of wet naps in order to be completely removed…”

KFC Marketing Exec #2: “Way ahead of you, my friend. Pass the cocaine. It’s finger-lickin’ go─”

KFC Marketing Exec #1: “…We could slap the phrase “Limited-Time” on all the advertising to make it seem like a must-have item that’s…y’know, um…what’s the opposite of ‘so ridiculous that its layers of sheer absurdity can be accurately measured only in sagans’? Anyway, I’m telling you, we’d make money hand over fist.”

KFC Marketing Exec #2: “Look under your chair, my friend…”

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